Random thoughts and sadness.
There’s this drug addict that really fascinates me. Havent met him in person but if i’ll be given the chance, I’ll both pay for our pamasahe papuntang Marlboro Green, we will light cigarettes just to pass out time, I’ll sing to him Heaven Knows of Orange and Lemons, I don’t know, but i want to meet him, even if it means I might be his next chicken he’ll slash on the neck.(he once asked a friend of mine if she could give him money so he could go to Marlboro Green and that friend of mine is the culprit behind this fascination and wanting to be acquainted with addicts, not really).
I saw a rat on Chowking yesterday. I think it’s cute.
Years ago, I wanted to be a writer. But writing is not for those who have random thoughts, just random, unorganized ideas.
Years ago, I had a crush on a guy, I know he’s a he. I just now. I read a lot of him on the internet, on a forum. I have not met him in person just like the drug addict, for back then I believe there’s no reason, hello. Slow_Chem. I believe it was his screen name.
“Spare parts anyone?”
I’m an idiot he had told me once, oh i guess it was not just once. I don’t care if he did it for like ten or even for a hundred times, I do care if he’ll ever have the chance to intimidate someone again with all his rantings over the net, or if I’ll ever have someone who’ll be that rude yet overwhelming enough to call me idiot, and be so moving that I’ll be affected.
I have not met him, and I’ll never ever meet the guy. I’ll never have the chance to see the guy. Unbearable lightness of being best exemplified. Sadness. I’m wishing it was just a prank. Sana buhay pa siya. Sadness.
Why the fuck am I so affected with his death. Eh hindi nga kami naging internet buddies non. Why the fuck. Fuck you. Never did I have the chance to be a friend because he was not that nice to me. I was just a fan, a stalker. Heaven knows how I’m bitter. Fuck that man.
I’ll name my first child after him. Or my next pet.
Thinking if I’ll go to his wake at Camp Crame later, so i could meet him.. for so long.